That I could talk and walk without fear,
Of failure, discrimination, misunderstandings, lies, deceit and treachery,
I wish sometimes,
I could sleep and dream the ones of yester years,
I wish sometimes,
I could lie in bed and sleep engulf me,
As the darkness covers the light,
With the warmness beneath,
Underneath there total serenity,
Peace and tranquility,
Where thoughts wander and meander in areas unknown,
Feeling light and heavy at the same time,
I wish sometimes it was like last week!
Where there was hope, and happiness,
Love and meaning, belonging and wanting
No deadlines, no t broke but within means,
Satisfied, and dreaming of next week,
But not this week for it is so different,
In a flash everything moved leeward,
Pushed out and off focus to a labyrinth so vile and dark
In a few everything turned,
The destiny within me altered,
My hope really fractured,
Heavily wounded that the body shakes into spasms,
The unreality of reality hits me hard and the fire in my eyes,
Expunged almost extinguished that all I see are shadows,
That for a while I lost consciousness,
Drifting into the nothingness,
The unwillingness overwhelms me as the willingness,
That I stumble and fall travelling from the yelling.
I am done?
It all had to end here?
After all the words?
After all the things I did to make it right?
After the fall this was my rise?
To end like a sentence misplaced in a journal,
Erased without thought of regret?
My dreams were to awake here?
And I slumber dreamless?
Am down I guess,
So down…
I call upon God, who I believe and at times doubt ,
But mostly I know he is Here, looking, waiting,
Timing and listening to my praying.
It is hard Father, so hard that my language I feel,
Is turning and am talking and saying different,
Listening and hearing other words….
I did not refuse to hear but I said it and they heard different
That I suffer in blame yet is said what I did!
I wish Father in heaven, it were different,
In as much as I doubt my spirit believes in you,
Even when they want to take away my mortality,
I will fight that I sit with you up there,
I pray you hear me and grant me the desires of my heart,
Instill in me, wisdom of choice and words,
That I may not be proud or loud,
But in harmony with the holy spirit with you within,
I pray for prosperity,
Not of wealth but of kindness,
Of love and happiness,
Of just and reason,
I pray Father most for understanding,
To love as to be loved,
To give as to be given,
To bring peace where there is war,
A solution where there is fault,
Light Father where darkness looms,
I pray father almighty
Not to be proud,
I pray Father for your guiding hand that as I step I will avoid,
This wishful thinking,
And live as you taught us
Let me be stronger,
Let me be faster,
Creative,
Hardworking,
Considerate,
Let me be what they are not!
That I may give it to them, and they will honor you,
Place in me Father the spirit of life and living,
That in my skill
I will do your will,
I will execute my talent
To get rid of this madness.
With the others before
And these ones I am with…
We will move forward the goodness
That good will conquer evil
We will triumph and smash the devil,
In a move we will squash the madness.
I believe that is why I rise above the debris,
I peek for fresh air and vow….
GOD COULD NEVER ABANDON ME!
It is them and their schemes,
With their agendas arranged in themes,
They know my weakness and exploit me …
To crush my spirit,
Then bury my body,
And trample over me,
Father I know that is why I believe,
You have a lot for me I know,
I have gone bad and rogue many times,
I pray for forgiveness
And I want to live more, give more, love more,
Share more and offer the path of life,
To those struggling,
To light the hope into those that switched off
And harbor in clueless vacuums,
Unable to exit!
Thank you Father for these words,
For if it was not for you,
This would be blank
With nothing from me.
THANKYOU FATHER!
Of failure, discrimination, misunderstandings, lies, deceit and treachery,
I wish sometimes,
I could sleep and dream the ones of yester years,
I wish sometimes,
I could lie in bed and sleep engulf me,
As the darkness covers the light,
With the warmness beneath,
Underneath there total serenity,
Peace and tranquility,
Where thoughts wander and meander in areas unknown,
Feeling light and heavy at the same time,
I wish sometimes it was like last week!
Where there was hope, and happiness,
Love and meaning, belonging and wanting
No deadlines, no t broke but within means,
Satisfied, and dreaming of next week,
But not this week for it is so different,
In a flash everything moved leeward,
Pushed out and off focus to a labyrinth so vile and dark
In a few everything turned,
The destiny within me altered,
My hope really fractured,
Heavily wounded that the body shakes into spasms,
The unreality of reality hits me hard and the fire in my eyes,
Expunged almost extinguished that all I see are shadows,
That for a while I lost consciousness,
Drifting into the nothingness,
The unwillingness overwhelms me as the willingness,
That I stumble and fall travelling from the yelling.
I am done?
It all had to end here?
After all the words?
After all the things I did to make it right?
After the fall this was my rise?
To end like a sentence misplaced in a journal,
Erased without thought of regret?
My dreams were to awake here?
And I slumber dreamless?
Am down I guess,
So down…
I call upon God, who I believe and at times doubt ,
But mostly I know he is Here, looking, waiting,
Timing and listening to my praying.
It is hard Father, so hard that my language I feel,
Is turning and am talking and saying different,
Listening and hearing other words….
I did not refuse to hear but I said it and they heard different
That I suffer in blame yet is said what I did!
I wish Father in heaven, it were different,
In as much as I doubt my spirit believes in you,
Even when they want to take away my mortality,
I will fight that I sit with you up there,
I pray you hear me and grant me the desires of my heart,
Instill in me, wisdom of choice and words,
That I may not be proud or loud,
But in harmony with the holy spirit with you within,
I pray for prosperity,
Not of wealth but of kindness,
Of love and happiness,
Of just and reason,
I pray Father most for understanding,
To love as to be loved,
To give as to be given,
To bring peace where there is war,
A solution where there is fault,
Light Father where darkness looms,
I pray father almighty
Not to be proud,
I pray Father for your guiding hand that as I step I will avoid,
This wishful thinking,
And live as you taught us
Let me be stronger,
Let me be faster,
Creative,
Hardworking,
Considerate,
Let me be what they are not!
That I may give it to them, and they will honor you,
Place in me Father the spirit of life and living,
That in my skill
I will do your will,
I will execute my talent
To get rid of this madness.
With the others before
And these ones I am with…
We will move forward the goodness
That good will conquer evil
We will triumph and smash the devil,
In a move we will squash the madness.
I believe that is why I rise above the debris,
I peek for fresh air and vow….
GOD COULD NEVER ABANDON ME!
It is them and their schemes,
With their agendas arranged in themes,
They know my weakness and exploit me …
To crush my spirit,
Then bury my body,
And trample over me,
Father I know that is why I believe,
You have a lot for me I know,
I have gone bad and rogue many times,
I pray for forgiveness
And I want to live more, give more, love more,
Share more and offer the path of life,
To those struggling,
To light the hope into those that switched off
And harbor in clueless vacuums,
Unable to exit!
Thank you Father for these words,
For if it was not for you,
This would be blank
With nothing from me.
THANKYOU FATHER!
1 comment:
Baba sikia ombi lake
Njoki
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